The beauty and creation of an erupting volcano

I had no idea that when Bonnie Marrow literally moved into my life, that forty-nine years later, I would move into her beautiful home in the rain forest for a month. We’d been talking about me visiting off and on for several years. This summer when she invited me to come for Christmas, I booked my flight. I didn’t know what I was doing but something inside of me said, “Go!” All I did was follow that voice. I didn’t realize the value of the jewel I had in her friendship or what miracles would come of this visit. I returned home with a softer essence and a deeper appreciation for Life.

I am profoundly inspired by the space Bonnie creates to gracefully allow whatever comes next, her speedy recovery from shock and awe and the boundless presence she provides to the issue at hand. Her ability to observe her surroundings, to hear, see, and feel what’s happening in the moment, provide access to everyday miracles that often go unnoticed.

Following my parents, both Drake alumni, and two of my siblings who attended Drake, I was accepted to Drake University in Des Moines, located twenty miles from our home. The first time I remember following a call from within, [that same “go” voice] rather than doing what I was told, was when I exercised a newfound freedom to change direction on which college to attend. With the support of my parents, I headed out alone to Fort Collins, Colorado, somewhere no one I knew had gone, to attend college at CSU. My assigned roommate never showed up.

Bonnie was in a similar situation, no roommate. We were in the only all-female dorm on campus on a floor filled with art students. Bonnie soon discovered that there was a shy farm girl on the floor who also had no roommate. I don’t remember her asking, it seemed at the time more like a declaration, “I’m moving in with you.” Since I was unable to suggest what to do on a date or decide on what to order for a meal in a restaurant, I had no courage to protest or resist this volcano of a woman moving into my room. She smoked, spoke her mind very clearly and directly and quite frankly I was afraid of her - but not for long. I can’t remember the point when I fell in love with her. I didn’t realize it, but Bonnie was exactly what I needed in my life then and again now!

Bonnie led the charge for the artistic young women on our floor. She had no fear of anything or anyone; I am still in awe of her authenticity, her warm generous heart, and her tremendous work ethic. Bonnie steps into whatever life throws at her with gusto, she erupts like a volcano, then calmly eases everyone else’s workload with whatever degree of gentleness is needed. She has an amazing ability to know when to be unwavering, when to be gentle, when to push and when to pull.

Bonnie moved to Hawaii when she married her college sweetheart, a Polynesian whose family has always lived in Hawai’i. She's lived there ever since, sadly the marriage didn’t work out. Her days as a new wife and mother of small children were filled with more responsibility than anyone should need to bear, slopping 40 hogs, after sorting through the slop to make sure there wasn’t anything dangerous for the pigs to ingest. She was left to butcher chickens with no instruction and raise two beautiful boys with no car. Finally, she got a 1946 Willy’s jeep with no roof and no doors as her only means to get to town for groceries or to the beach. For Bonnie this was adventure.

I highly doubt Bonnie ever complains about her life. She was an Air Force child, her family lived in the Philippians most of her adolescent years, then moved multiple times until her father retired in Colorado. She has experienced much harsher living conditions that anyone I know, except for my Japanese friend Koko. Bonnie embraces life with the same gusto that Koko did. Huuummm?

Bonnie’s heart, broken in a million pieces by the male species, continues to love and accept people as they are. She earned the man she has now. With their own hands, the two of them have constructed multiple homes on this Big Island of Hawai’i. Typically, the upper level of their current home is rented out as AirBnB. During a scheduled vacancy, I settled in for thirty magical days. It’s exquisitely furnished and the quality of craftsmanship in the bathroom tile, the cabinetry, the trim and the selected decor is noticeably excellent.

I was fortunate enough to help paint a shed (these two are constantly working – without complaint) and saw life from inside of the culture, as opposed to the limited view that a tourist typically sees. My hosts everyday life created the highlights of my trip. I was privileged to see the glowing, rumbling, bubbling, dancing sparks flying, waves of lava crashing and folding in on herself as the Goddess Pele erupting on Kilauea at Volcano National Park. We hiked much of the hardened lava from ancient flows.

Watching the giant waves beat on giant rock cliffs, at Laupahoehoe Point Beach Park, and several other sites, was immensely powerful and mesmerizing. I felt held by the ocean on both sides of the Island as we snorkeled with beautiful fish and coral reefs. I was awoken at 3:30 AM one morning as a small (4.0) earthquake shook the house. The food was exceptionally good, thanks to Bonnie’s cooking skills and the stars were far brighter and plentiful than what I am able to see in Iowa.

The stars from their vantage point appear to be in a dome around their home. Not only can you look up to see with amazing clarity but straight out in every direction. I also had much private time, integrating my love of Nature and releasing any residual fears of living my life authentically. On this alive Island, I connected with my Nature Family in a way I have always known was possible, yet only dreamed of experiencing.

Bonnie and I enjoyed the reverie in ancient sacred royal grounds of refuge, sensational sunsets, wild water, beautiful beaches, a Buddhist temple, black sand beaches, local markets, mountain roads, and many meaningful conversations.

Bonnie and Dave have full time jobs, in addition to their many projects, so Bonnie shared some of her special friends with me. Her longtime friend, Sue, was at that time retired. The first day I arrived on the island Bonnie took me to Sue’s home in the hills, about twenty minutes away. It was simple and heavenly, with a view of mountain, Maunaloa, and just above the cliff from the ocean. Sue volunteered to take me hiking at Volcano National Park, which is located approximately about fifteen miles from Bonnie’s home and up to the observation center on Maunakea, and through back country roads. Lesa and Mike, neighbors visiting from Canada, took me on numerous adventures, hiking, snorkeling, wearing headlamps through a lava tube, [Kaumana Cave] hiking through a bamboo forest to giant waterfalls, and they taught me to ride a boogie board.

Bonnie and Dave live in a rural subdivision about a half hour outside of Hilo. The area of thick forest was sectioned off back in the early 1960s but only on the land surveys -no clearings, and no services provided. Today only some of the lots have access to electrical service. Very few of the roads are paved. Instead of wells or rural water, they catch rainwater and store it in tanks, then pump it back into the house. Although they get approximately 160 inches of rain per year, it can arrive sporadically, often inundating them, at other times cause for concern of draught. Their drinking water is supplied by the county at a spigot in nearby village parks. They have no need for central heat or air conditioning; if it gets too cool, they close up the windows and run a dehumidifier. Bonnie stated many times while I was there that she could not imagine living in town, she loves the country life. It takes extra caution, locked gates, guard dogs and rinsing home grown food in vinegar to make sure food is safe.

The flowers surrounding her house reflect both how much Bonnie cherishes the exquisite and abundant nature and her creative flair. “Just pop this trimmed off stick into the ground, it’ll be okay.” In disbelief I followed her instruction - yet three weeks later, they were still abundantly thriving. After a potted orchid is done blooming, she wires it to a tree, then it provides more flowers later. The color that greets each morning is riveting, giving way to pause and awe.

Dave and Bonnie’s partnership is one of service, such as I’ve been studying this past year, the ideal way of how we were Divinely created – for the Divine Feminine to led and give joy and adoration to the Divine Masculine and the Divine Masculine to adore and serve the Divine Feminine so she can create and receive with grace. It’s a fluid love affair that is designed to dance inside of us. Ideally, we feel the freedom and confidence and awareness to flow between both sides of ourselves, resulting in the best version of ourselves. Sometimes we all need to call upon that masculine strength to carry us through some of the things we need to accomplish and other times we all need to call upon that feminine side, that creative force that underlies all of visible existence. Without speaking these ideas, and maybe even without being aware of it, Dave and Bonnie are an external version of this ideal dance of the Divine. They both speak their truth and both yield without malice. Although they are quite different in personality and prior life experiences, the adoration on both sides is obvious in their teasing, playfulness, and daily consideration and provision for one another.

Bonnie makes the effort to present her best when she goes out, yet she is clearly not concerned about the external appearance of anyone. She doesn’t obsess about her aging body and is doing what is prudent to care for it and rest it appropriately. She lived her fullest most vivacious self as a younger woman, yet she is not envious of the vitality of the younger women around her; she champions them. She lives her life as a role model of authentic living.

I witnessed her, take on a new project, without hesitation, upon hearing of an elderly woman living alone, with no access to food. She gathered resources from folks she knew and delivered three boxes full of groceries, several gallons of drinking water and a propane tank. I rode along as she drove an hour and a half to where this woman lived. After she kindly made sure the woman was safe and told her how to access services, she compassionately drove back into town to buy dog food for the woman’s boney hound. The woman’s plywood shack was safe shelter, her propane run hot plate and water supply was under a roof outside her home.

My month in Hawai’i, reconnecting with Bonnie, changed me. I came home more relaxed about who I am, calmer about my life circumstances, fearless about my future, knowing I can greet each day with an awareness of the beauty around me, the love that flows through me and the opportunity I have to simply greet each day with a confidence that whatever happens I can manage it.